Dreary

Wet...dreary...gray...blustery...weepy...icky sorta day.  It's spring, but I don't much the like the kind of spring we're having.  I'm moody, emotional, hormonal, upset easily... (I'm feeling quite pregnant, obviously).  I've been yelling at the children all too frequently and then breaking down and being all weepy because I feel like a bad mom.  Perhaps if the weather would change, my mood might follow. Perhaps.  I struggled with some postpartum depression after Jack was born.  (not that I told anyone but Bruce)  I desperately want to avoid that this time around.

Migraines, back ache, and other pregnancy troubles abound.  At my last appointment was told to rest and take it easy... not exactly bed rest... but seriously limited if I wanted the pregnancy to go okay.  I'm bored so I constantly over do it and then feel worse.  I am no longer allow to pick up the kids (at 40 lbs apiece I can see why) but it's difficult to not want to scoop up a teary 3 yr old.  :(  With all the physical troubles (and I know it could be worse) I feel betrayed by my body...physical, emotional... everything. Unable to do 'normal' things.

My ultrasound is in less than a week.  Praying all is well with the baby and she/he is cooperative so we can find out if we're having another boy or another girl.  Then we just have to come up with a name.  We haven't come up with anything... at this point I'm hoping for some divine inspiration.